Houdini!!!

I have discovered that I have Harry Houdini reincarnate in my homeroom at school. Now I have never been one to "buy into" the teaching of reincarnation, but I have no other explanation for this student.

Earlier in the school year this student would come in with a pass to go to the computer lab every day during homeroom. I was suspicious of this, but the passes always turned out to be legit. I started getting reports that he was showing up in the year book class because there was a girl in there he wanted to visit with. He got out of that mistake because the pass said "computer lab" but didn't specify which computer lab! I did clarify with the student that he could use the 3rd floor lab (by my room) only. Definitely not one that had a class going on.

He then started coming in with passes from another teacher. That petered out so a third teacher was employed to help him in his diabolic scheme of driving me crazy. Finally he came in with a pass from a teacher under the guise he "needed to take a test". A few minutes after he left, I went to the office to have them call that teacher's room. He did not show up! Not only that, there was no test to be taken! The office did an "all call" where they paged for him throughout the school. "Houdini had left the building!" I had him dead to right! (I know! I know! I should have been utilizing my time more effectively, but I just couldn't stand the idea that he was getting away with something on my watch!) The next day he was suspended for skipping and put on "lock-down" in homeroom. He would not be allowed to leave anymore under any circumstances unless the principal himself escorted him!

Everything went along well for a few weeks. Then one day I got a page from the office to send "Houdini" down. Now I knew "Houdini" was in class because I had taken attendance and saw him, but when I turned to his seat to send him down he was gone! I checked the sign out sheet, nothing. I asked the other students (maybe I was going crazy). Nope, he was there at attendance but now he was gone. Did anyone see him leave? No! Did anyone hear him leave? No! (My door is very noisy so this was quite a feat!) The office did an all call. No "Houdini"! He had simply disappeared!

This is my 14th year of teaching and I have taught in some pretty rough schools, but I had never lost a student! In fact I have a reputation for being tough when it comes to discipline. Admittedly, I was embarrassed, but no one ever taught me in college that I would have to deal with magicians!

Barbara Johnson's Diet

"I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it in the company of naked fat people."

I'm not sure that would work in my case!

Interesting Pictures

Do you see 7 horses?






How many people do you see?
Do you see a face or "liar"?


Do you see black blocks or "lift"?








Where does the middle column end?




Do you see 4 people?

Alphabet Soup?

Do you ever feel like your entire conversational language is in code? I don't know how it is in other professions, but in education everything is referred to by letters or numbers. Schools are identified as KHS, GHS, LCHS, LJHS, CSC, MSU, etc. Or you might hear them referred to as CUSD #202 , #210, CSD #104, etc. Kids with special needs may have IEP's or 504's. The organizations are in code as well. Schools may have NHS, NJHS, FFA, FCA, FTA, or FHA for students to join. We have AD's and AP's at the HS or the JHS. The NEA, IEA or KEA may submit a request or complaint to the ROE if they get no satisfaction from the LBOE. Even the parents have gotten in on the act with their PTAs and PTOs!

I've noticed this trend flowing into the community as well. My daughter's choir is CSCCCC! The TV stations are NBC, CBS, ABC, PBS, WB, BBC. The radio stations are WCIC, KMOX,WMIX, WKRP :).

It's even in our churches. We have FTH, WYEA, SS, PUSH, EDGE.

We certainly can't stop there. Anyone on the internet has there own set of coded language. We ROFL, LOL, TXT. We'll BRB and say BTW. We ask A/S/L. We have DH, HTML, GIF, ROM, RAM, CDROM, DVD. We even have little codes for facial expressions! :) ;) ;-)

I realized one day I needed an interpreter because everything I said was in strings of numbers or acronyms and the person I was speaking with didn't have a clue what I was talking about! I decided at that moment I would start speaking English again. After all, communication is one of the most important things we do in any relationship. If only one person understands the conversation then am I really communicating?

BFF, OXOXOXOXOXOX, TTYL,

J/K

CUL8R

LG

What NOT to Say During an Interview

We were discussing interviews at lunch today and it prompted memories of some interesting interview questions I have endured over the years. Here are some of my favorites.

I would hire you for the position immediately if the position were at the Junior High. You look so young, I'm just afraid those high school boys would eat you up.

Well, I've decided I'm going to hire you. I really wanted to hire a man, but you're the most qualified for the position and the state is coming in this year to evaluate our school.

I know I'm not suppose to ask this question, but since I know your husband is a minister and they move around a lot, just how long do you think you would be here if I gave you the job?

(And my personal favorite)

You're an attractive woman. How do you deal with it when the high school boys come on to you? (My colleagues remarked, "So he was hitting on you while he was asking the question about your being hit on?")

What are some of your favorite interview faux pas?

Praise Report!!!

We have really been under extreme financial stress with medical bills among other unusual expenses. I have requested prayer numerous times and have asked God to intervene. Of course we always want our answers yesterday, but in His time things are resolved. Of the over $4000 in medical expenses incurred over the past few months, we have gotten word within the last week that over $3000 has been paid or forgiven! God has also provided unexpected funds from elsewhere! I just praise God for His faithfulness!!!!!

Fathers and Childbirth

Note: Parents my wish to read this before allowing small children to read it. Wives may also wish to prepare their husbands:)

At the beginning of my physics class one of the students announced that 2 of the basketball coaches at our school came very near to missing the births of their children. I said that would be grounds for divorce in my book! After all, they had a part in the err development of the condition. They should at least pretend to endure the pain! This discussion prompted the memory of when I was expecting my first child.

Being a first time mother, I wanted to learn all I could about the development of the child. What I could expect during the pregnancy; my options for childbirth. I studied everything I could get my hands on. I even checked a book out at the High School library which gave the history of coping with childbirth in various cultures throughout history. I found this book to be particularly interesting. My favorite part was the section regarding the way the Aztecs dealt with childbirth. Their practice was as follows:

When the expectant mother began the pains of labor, she was taken to a barn with tall open rafters. She would be laid on a table and handed two ropes, one for each hand. When she would experience a sharp labor pain she would pull on these ropes to help her endure the terrible pain. The father would climb up into the rafters overlooking the mother. (Here comes my favorite part!) After positioning himself securely, the ropes would be tied around his testicles so that when the mother pulled on the ropes at the peak of her pain, the father could share in the labor of childbirth!

I have since wondered if this was a method of birthcontrol for this people. It might also explain why they died out!

"The Quest for the Ring" Journey Ended!

On October 19 I made a post titled "The Quest for the Ring" where I describe the history of ups and downs regarding Darrell's wedding ring and whether or not I should purchase yet another ring. Well, the quest has ended! Darrell found his wedding ring! Some months ago, he noticed that the front panel that is next to the ground of his chifrobe had fallen off so he put it back on. Today he noticed that same panel had fallen off again. He bent over to put it back on and noticed something shiny. When he looked to see what was reflecting the light he discovered his long lost wedding ring! He came back to our room and announced "I'm married again!" After a pause he added, "Wait a minute!" of course he was in trouble for the last comment but I was so glad that he found his ring I forgave that lapse in judgement. I just wanted to let everyone know that it has been found and give God the praise!

Why Computers Crash!!

Dr. Seuss explains why computers sometimes crash.

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port
and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort
and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort;
then, the socket packet pocket has an error t o report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash
and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash;
then, your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse;
but, your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall
and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss;
so, your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse;
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk
and the macrocode instructions cause unnecessary risk;
then, you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM
then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!

from our staff bulletin

It's Time to Celebrate!!!

Okay, I know I may be considered a little strange, (so what else is new, right?) but I get excited every year when the calendar turns to February 1st! No it's not an anniversary or birthday or any holiday (at least that I know of) it is simply one of my methods of surviving the long dreary winter in Illinois.

I have little difficulty getting through November and December because I 'm too busy (busier than I'd like to be) to think about the nasty weather, but then January rolls around! Not only is it dreary but it is SOOO LOOONNNGG!!! I mean 31 days of dreariness and NO good holidays! That's sheer torture. Seriously, who was the brain child who set up the calendar to have one of the longest months to be in the dead of WINTER anyway!?

Yes, it is still winter and dreary in February, but at least you know that there are usually only 4 weeks to deal with AND there's Valentine's Day right in the middle to break it up! The days start to get longer, the sun starts to shine again and best of all Spring is just around the corner!

I celebrated today by putting colorful hearts and flowers up on the glass doors of the storage cabinets in my classroom, right in front of the 500 ml beakers and erlenmeyer flasks! Yes, I am ready to celebrate the month! No more SaDS for me! Spring, here I come!